#44: Tim Raines
Card: 1984 Fleer
Mustache Type: Extended Pencil
Fact: Nicknamed “The Rock” based on his solid physique, Raines amassed 808 stolen bases in his 23-year career – the fourth-highest total in MLB history. He was the last player to wear a helmet without at least one ear flap (a rule instituted in 1983) and may be the last player to slide headfirst into second with a bag of cocaine in his hip pocket.
Mustaches & Baseball
#43: Barry Jones
Cards: 1988 and 1987 Topps
Mustache Type: Dirty Painter’s Brush (with Fu Manchu potential)
Fact: Drafted in 1984 by the Pittsburgh Pirates, Jones made his big league debut on July 18, 1986. During his tenure with the team, Jones wore number 50. Yet, on his 1988 Topps card, he’s mysteriously wearing number 69. And on his 1987 Topps card, he’s either trying to score an unassisted triple play or about to complete the daily crossword.
Jones played for five teams, retiring in 1994 with a 33 – 33 record and a respectable 3.66 ERA.
#42: Scott May
Card: 1989 Donruss
Mustache Type: The Bandit
Fact: Out of all the great mustache aficionados, Scott May unarguably had the most forgettable major league career in history. Selected in the 6th Round of the 1983 Draft, May made his debut in September 1988 with the Texas Rangers, pitching in just three games. His next appearances came in 1991, as a member of the Chicago Cubs, when he pitched in just two games. In total, May compiled a record of 0-0, with a 10.61 ERA.
#41: Will Clark
Card: 1989 Cap’n Crunch Topps
Mustache Type: Very Heavy Pencil with hint of Fu Manchu
Fact: Nicknamed “Will the Thrill,” Will Clark posted a career .303 batting average and earned six All-Star selections. Despite an accomplished career, The Thrill only received 4.4% of votes for the Hall of Fame in his first year of eligibility, falling short of the required 5% to remain on future ballots. Although he’ll never be a Hall of Famer, he’ll always be rumored to be a descendant of the other William Clark of the Lewis and Clark Expedition.
#40: Mike Hart
Card: 1988 Topps
Mustache Type: Major (w/ hint of horseshoe)
Fact: Hart was drafted in 1979 by the Seattle Mariners, but didn’t get his big league shot until 1984 with the Minnesota Twins. He later resurfaced for 34 games with the Baltimore Orioles in 1987. In all, he batted a meager .162 in 105 career at-bats. Hart currently works as a middle school gym teacher in Wisconsin.
#39: Dick Drago
Card: 1978 Topps
Mustache Type: Chevron with hint of handlebar
Fact: During his 13-year career, Drago compiled 108 wins –– 62 of them as complete games. He finished fifth in Cy Young voting in 1971, going 17-11 with a 2.98 ERA for the Royals. In 1976, Drago surrendered Hank Aaron’s 755th career home run –– then and now a major-league record.
#38: Larry McWilliams
Card: 1983 Fleer
Mustache Type: The Prospector
Fact: Born in Wichita, Kansas, Williams was the 6th overall pick in the 1974 amateur draft. In his rookie season of 1978, Williams was the winning pitcher when the Atlanta Braves ended Pete Rose’s 44-game hitting streak. Williams’ line that day: 5.0 IP, 4 H, 4 R, 3 BB, 2 SO. He retired in 1990 with a career 3.99 ERA.
Movember Special
#37: John Kruk
Card: 2006 Fleer Greats of the Game
Mustache Type: Pyramid with goatee
Fact: In 1993, Kruk batted .316 for perhaps the greatest team of the ‘90s. He was the leader of “Macho Row,” which included teammates Darren Daulton, Lenny Dykstra and Mitch Williams among others. That year, Kruk finished 16th in MVP voting. However, in 1994, he was diagnosed with testicular cancer and underwent surgery to remove one testicle. But as a true member of the Fightin’ Phils, Kruk kicked cancer’s ass and now works as an Emmy-nominated analyst for Baseball Tonight.
#36: Chuck Jackson
Card: 1988 Topps
Mustache Type: Heavy Pencil
Fact: Jackson made his Major League debut in 1987 with the Houston Astros, playing two seasons with the club. After the 1988 season, however, Jackson went on a Major League hiatus and wasn’t seen in a professional uniform until the strike-shortened 1994 season with the Texas Rangers. In his extremely short and forgettable career, Jackson compiled a .218 average, with 2 home runs and 4 intentional walks.
#35: Steve Lake
Card: 1991 Studio
Mustache Type: Heavy Chevron (almost a Walrus)
Fact: Although a career backup catcher, Lake started Game 7 of the 1987 World Series for the St. Louis Cardinals. In the game, he went 1-3 with an RBI single, threw Kirby Puckett out at third while trying to advance on a wild pitch, and tagged out Gary Gaetti on a violent home plate collision. The Cardinals lost the game, however, and thus the series, to the Minnesota Twins.
#34: Alvaro Espinoza
Card: 1987 Topps
Mustache Type: Reverse Hitler
Fact: During a four-year tenure with the Yankees, Espinoza was among public address announcer Bob Sheppard’s favorite names to announce. And while playing for the Twins, Espinoza joined a small handful of players to hit a fair ball that became stuck in a stadium obstruction –– the extra hit that boosted his lifetime average to .254.
#33: Keith Comstock
Card: 1989 ProCards
Mustache Type: Small Horseshoe
Fact: Between 1976 and 1991––a full 16 seasons––Keith Comstock played for 19 different teams. That includes seven MLB teams (California Angels, Oakland A’s, Detroit Tigers, Minnesota Twins, San Francisco Giants, San Diego Padres, Seattle Mariners); eleven minor league teams (Idaho Falls Angels, Quad City Angels, Salinas Angels, El Paso Diablos, West Haven Whitecaps, Tacoma Tigers, Birmingham Barons, Toledo Mud Hens, Phoenix Firebirds, Las Vegas Stars, Calgary Cannons); and one Japanese team (Yomiuri Giants).
After retiring as a player, Comstock worked as a coach/manager for 11 different teams. That includes two MLB teams (Texas Rangers, Los Angeles Angels); and nine minor league teams (Spokane Indians, Burlington Bees, Salem-Keizer Volcanoes, Bakersfield Blaze, San Jose Giants, AZL Giants, Cedar Rapids Kernels, Rancho Cucamonga Quakes, Arkansas Travelers).
Lastly, Comstock was a coach for the 2007 Seattle Mariners fantasy baseball camp.
In the end, Comstock was part of 31 teams––with this card as his greatest achievement.
#32: Greg Minton
Card: 1978 Topps
Mustache Type: Beginning stages of Genghis Khan w/ hint of Chevron
Fact: Well-known for his fun-loving behavior, Minton decided to go tubing completely naked before a game with the minor league Phoenix Giants, resulting in terrible sunburn. When he arrived at the ballpark that night, manager Rocky Bridges commented that Minton’s body had more craters than the moon. Soon, Minton was nicknamed “Moon Man” by teammates. Further shenanigans include stealing the team bus and flooding a minor league ballpark. The former a fun prank, the latter a possible felony. In addition to being crazy, Minton pitched three full seasons (269 1/3 innings) without allowing a home run — which remains the longest such streak in the live-ball era. Minton also gave up Pete Rose’s final big league hit — #4,256.
#31: Edgar Martinez
Card: 1988 Fleer
Mustache Type: Magnum PI
Fact: Martinez hit an astounding .571 in the 1995 ALDS against the Yankees. In game four, he hit a 3-run home run followed by a grand slam for a post-season record 7 RBI. In game 5, Martinez delivered with a walk-off double scoring two runs and sending the Mariners to the ALCS. Also, he looks extremely depressed in this picture.
